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  • Films Made Before 2000 (308)
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May 17, 2023

The Fishman Diaries: It’s Alive

Stay in the city, never leave the safety of concrete and skyscrapers. The bucolic corn fields and rolling green hills of middle America are full […]
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May 14, 2023

B-Robo Kabutack: Christmas War

I’m 9 minutes and 24 seconds into B-Robo Kabutack: Christmas War and already I am overwhelmed. So many insane things have pummeled my eyeballs, I […]
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May 10, 2023

"Thrilling Bloody Sword:" More Gonzo Entertainment From Taiwan

Thrilling Bloody Sword opens with the theme from the Battlestar Galactica television show. Not the cool Battlestar Galactica from 2004, but the ridiculous one from […]
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May 7, 2023

Had Enough of “Woke” Cinema? “Avenger Dogs Christmas” Is For You!

Are you tired of movies that constantly harp on racism? Movies that are not in line with good Christian values? Do you stand in defiance […]
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April 16, 2023

Jess Franco’s Inexplicable Film "Sex Is Crazy"

Would you drink a smoothie made from The Discrete Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Holy Motors, Inland Empire, and a smattering of smutty Spanish soft-core porn? […]
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April 6, 2023

 The Most Jewish Movie Ever Made

This has got to be the most Jewish movie ever made. This movie makes Woody Allen’s films look like nativity plays. The film is called […]
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April 2, 2023

An Open Letter To Super Villains

So, you want to take over the world, or perhaps the universe? Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to rule […]
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March 8, 2023

Cutie Honey: Too Good To Be Bad

Cutie Honey: The Movie (2004) is too good to be bad. I started watching it in hopes that it would be a typical example of […]
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March 1, 2023

"Night Flyers" Isn’t Really That Bad

Kudos to the film crew for producing this film while the sound stage was on fire. I’m assuming there must have been quite a blaze […]
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February 15, 2023

Some Suggestions For The Makers Of The Beast That Killed Women

If any of them are still alive or lucid, I have a few tips for the makers of The Beast That Killed Women. Let’s begin […]
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February 12, 2023

Establishing The Bad Canon: 15 Essential Movies For The Masochistic Cinephile

Proposing a canon is a dangerous endeavor. It’s unlikely that any two people will agree on what should be included, but I feel it is […]
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February 9, 2023

Carl J. Monson’s "Please Don’t Eat My Mother"

  I have no idea what Carl J. Monson was trying to do when, in 1973, he made Please Don’t Eat My Mother. I suppose […]
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January 29, 2023

Santa’s Surveillance State Battles Satan in Rene Cardona’s "Santa Claus"

I’m guessing Rene Cardona’s Santa Claus was intended to be a children’s film, but the lessons it teaches are questionable at best. It’s a Mexican […]
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January 22, 2023

The Porn Industry Wrestles With Its Anxieties In "Rollerbabies"

Pornography directors and producers are human, too. Somewhere under the cocaine, booze, and semen-drenched misogyny, they have a psyche that is vulnerable to the same […]
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January 18, 2023

Portrait In Crystal: Entertaining Nonsense.

 Somewhere in the mess of images I just sat through is a movie… probably. There’s no discernible plot or meaning, but there was a lot […]
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January 15, 2023

Ron Ormond’s The Monster And The Stripper

Ron Ormond's The Exotic Ones AKA The Monster And The Stripper opens with what I affectionately call the “point and look montage.“ It’s a common trope in both […]
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January 11, 2023

An Inadvertently Psycho-Sexual, Socio-Political, Nudie Cutie Called Sextet

Sextet is a stupid movie, so stupid it overlooks its own misogyny and forgets to hide it behind a veil of prurience. Nudie cuties aren’t supposed […]
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January 1, 2023

Michael Findlay’s Shriek Of The Mutilated

The 1974 film Shriek Of The Mutilated begins with a series of drawings that document the existence of a Yeti, or at least a high […]
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December 25, 2022

It’s A Porn! It’s A Toon! It’s Sheena In Wonderland!

Why would you make an X-rated cartoon? I don’t mean the 3D stuff on Pornhub, I mean a Bugs Bunny-style slapstick sex cartoon. Who is the […]
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December 21, 2022

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies

The main problem with The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies is the title. The title is comical, and so sets […]
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December 14, 2022

Just When You Thought Japanese Films Couldn’t Get Any Stranger, Along Comes Star Virgin

OK. so here is the situation. There is this Japanese movie from 1988 called Star Virgin. It was a straight-to-VHS affair and it is very hard […]
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December 4, 2022

Kung Fu From Beyond The Grave: Taoism vs The Undead

The Shaw Brothers were the biggest and most prolific producers of kung fu films in history. Within the kung fu genre, the brothers divided their […]
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November 23, 2022

All Women Are Bad At Least According To Larry Crane

“Director” Larry Crane made 7 films between 1967 and 1969. All Women Are Bad was made in 1969, right after Sugar Daddy and right before The Love Captive. All Women Are […]
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November 2, 2022

Neil Breen Wants To Kill You (Well, Most of You) In His Movie Pass Thru

You are absolutely not going to see another film like this one. Bat-shit crazy does not begin to cover it. Yes, it has all the […]
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