I don’t know what Bi-ology is. I know it’s a film, and there were naked people in it, but I’m pretty confused about the rest. The title is meant to imply that the film was made to appeal to bisexuals, and indeed there are plenty of hardcore sex scenes featuring an assortment of genders, but there are also attempts at experimental art, and some kind of socio-scientific exploration of sex and gender. Someone was taking themselves very seriously.

Whatever the film is, it should definitely come with a seizure warning. As part of its experimental explorations, it features an inordinate amount of split-second flashing back and forth between images. It’s very unpleasant. 

The very long, very stylized, very close-up sex scenes have no sound. Instead, we are treated to a synthesizer extravaganza that sounds like a mixture of Art of Noise, Vangelis, and Philip Glass. It’s foreboding and mind-numbingly repetitive, kind of like the sex scenes. Not being able to hear the “oohs", “ahhs”, and thumps of the sex really keep you at a distance from the action. It all seems more like a music video than a porn scene.

I’m not sure who choreographed the sex, but it was all very cold and mechanical, especially the blowjobs. They all seem as though the giver was instructed to simply open their throat and remain still, while the receiver turned off their brain and performed a sliding repetition of thrusts, like a mindless piston. As you might expect, none of this seemed to result in anyone getting aroused. In, out, in, out, in, out, cut to a man in a lab having his groin electrocuted, cut back to blow job, in, out, in, out, cut to extreme close up, and then zoom the lens, in and out, over and over again, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, etc.

The premise is never fully explained, but the film opens with a “scientist” in a white lab coat standing over an unfortunate man lying unconscious in what looks like a cheap motel room. The man on the bed has electrodes hooked up to his lower abdomen and his forehead, and is being stimulated by something mysterious.

While the scientist is doing this, a female scientist barges in, and the two of them get into an argument…

Female scientist: “You still don’t think that’s where the sex drive is located?”

Male scientist: “It’s sexual orientation. I can prove it’s biological.”

Female scientist: “That’s what you think. I’m going to prove it’s environmental. It’s external, not internal.”

Male scientist: “What, insensitive father? Overprotective mother? You’re still living in the Dark Ages. Wake up and smell the chromosomes. God and nature made us all.”

Female scientist: “We’ll see.”

Male scientist: “Yes, we will, real soon.”

It isn’t clear, but I think the scientists are zapping the man in the bed with sexual fantasies to see what turns him on. We, the audience, get to see these fantasies, which enables us to run the experiments on ourselves. In the end, the scientists agree that sexuality is formed by a little bit of everything.

This visually painful piece of trash was made by a drag queen named Chi Chi Larue in 1992. She seems to be pretty well-known. She was in Out Magazine's Top 50 Most Influential People in the LGBT Community in 2007. She has directed 464 films, with titles like LAPD: Los Angeles Police Dads, The Doctor Is In... Me, The Boy Who Cried DILF, Titsicle, and Pound Puppy. After sitting through Bi-ology, I probably won't be watching any of them, but at least the titles are fun.

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