I can’t understand how a movie like Dangerous Seductress got made. As close as I can figure, someone must have had too much money lying around and decided to give it to a maniac to make a movie. 

The first five minutes of Dangerous Seductress is a relentless assault of craziness. There are speeding car chases and a cavalcade of over-the-top car crashes. There are also impalements, a walking, undead finger, the decapitation of a dog, the drinking of its blood, the stop motion growth of a skeleton into a naked woman with glowing neon nipples, a dance number, and about a dozen people getting shot. 

By the time the smoke clears, and there is plenty of smoke, you have just enough time to take a breath before the rape on the dinner table starts. The rape is so ridiculous it does not have the substance to offend. Someone got a hold of a few cartoonish punch sound effects and sprinkled them liberally throughout the scene. They also put quite a few of them in the car chase scenes. We see this one passenger repeatedly pistol-whipping the driver and yelling at him to drive faster. I don’t recommend employing this method in your next Uber.

After 20 minutes the film runs out of breath and slows down for some exposition. It seems that Susan, a young shapely blonde woman with very big shapes, is fleeing LA and her abusive husband to join her sister Linda in Jakarta. Linda, who boasts similarly large shapes, welcomes her but soon leaves for a photo shoot in Bali, leaving Susan all alone with Linda’s Indonesian fiancé Bob.

Susan reads aloud from a mysterious book and accidentally summons a demon lady, the one with the glowing neon nipples, nipples that sit atop very large, probably surgically enhanced shapes. She appears in a mirror in front of a wall of flame and introduces herself,

“I am the queen of darkness, whose beauty is shrouded in mystery [does that mean she’s ugly?]. I have the power to grant beauty and strength and irresistible glamor to any woman who worships me. I shall grant these powers on one condition only. That I shall use your body to help me obtain sustenance and to restore my own youth.”

Then she zaps Susan with some animated electricity stuff and a smarmy sax solo kicks in. Then begins the very long getting-dressed-up-to-go-out montage. As Susan tries on outfits we hear singing. “The moon is high, the darkness comes. On ancient wings, the queen of darkness comes. The mad dog howls. The night bird cries. The mirror never lies.” 

Susan goes out on the town to seduce men and drink their blood. It’s pretty gross. She attacks one guy with a fish hook. She kills three other guys with a meat hook. She sucks blood, vomits blood, and shoots blood out her neck, there’s no end to it. 

The whole thing is temporarily interrupted by a sight-seeing montage of Bali, no doubt sponsored by the Balinese tourism board. I’m not sure who sponsored the swimsuit montage that follows but the languid helicopter shoots of azure water and sandy beaches are suddenly interrupted by a flurry of boobs and butts which in turn is replaced by another splatter of blood and bile. It starts to feel like some kind of Skinnerian conditioning, a bit like A Clockwork Orange. 

It all leads up to a battle between a native shaman and the demon, devil lady. There are lots of pyrotechnics, screaming, and glowing animated lightning and just when you want to give up the movie ends.

The film was made in Indonesia in 1994 by H. Tjut Djalil. I couldn’t find out much about Mr. Djalil, maybe he’s keeping a low profile. I have seen one other of his films deceptively titled Mystics In Bali. It’s not about mystics in Bali, it’s about another man-eating woman like Dangerous Seductress. I sense some latent mommy issues. Anyway Mystics In Bali is pretty similar to Dangerous Seductress except the evil woman who goes around killing people is missing some body parts. She is a floating head that drags all her exposed internal organs underneath it. No, arms, legs, or skin, just a head and organs floating around killing people. Djalil is either a very creative man in need of an award or a deeply disturbed man in need of some Haldol.  

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